All posts tagged forgiveness

Heart-Broken

A BIBLICAL PERSPECTIVE ON THOSE WHO HAVE TAKEN THEIR OWN LIFE FOR THOSE OF US WHO LOVED THEM AND ARE LEFT BEHIND.

We want to AND MUST remember our beloved friend who has taken his (or her) own life, because we cared for him and we want to honor his memory. We especially want to express our love to remaining family and all those left behind who are suffering from this tragic loss. This is in fact where we can have the greatest impact.

It is impossible to adequately describe the emotions we feel at the loss of someone we love – especially when the circumstances are so unexpected, tragic and needless.

As a Christ-follower first, and a clergyman second, I PRAY that I can accomplish three important things in my brief remarks here –
1. First and foremost we want to remember our beloved friend … now gone.
2. Second, although we will never forget him, I hope to give us more closure on our loss … so we can
continue to move forward with our lives in a positive way.
3. Lastly, I want to give you comfort and hope for the future … by sharing some of what God says in His Word about death, and this particular kind of untimely death, so you will be better prepared when and if it comes to you again.

I pray God will preside over and guide both my words and your thoughts as you consider these remarks with me.

In times of death, any death, many emotions flood our mind – loss, fear, sadness, questioning, hopelessness, despair, anger, resolve and even courage – I want these remarks to be uplifting and hopeful for you. There is hope – God cares for you! – I Peter 5:7

ABOUT OUR DEPARTED FRIEND…
– Whatever their age, we never expected their life to end so suddenly with so much left to be lived and experienced with them. Perhaps they were giving, caring, talented, kind, loving and a wonderful friend to many… and much more … They will be sorely missed.
– If we believe they knew the Lord and accepted Him as their personal Savior – that makes a tremendous difference. If we are not assured of this fact, we can only pray that this was the case and focus on those left behind.
– But we do know that he was surely OVERWHELMED by life and SCARRED from circumstances and DEPRESSED and the pressures became just too much for him – leading to this final and terrible act of desperation.

Let me address something very directly that we all wonder about but MAY not be sure if it is appropriate to discuss …
– A person who takes their own life is wrong to do so, that is in within the purview of God’s authority alone, but it does not make them a bad or evil person. Suicide is an act of desperation brought about by irrational thinking, but it is an act that God can and does forgive if we are His …
– If our friend has trusted Christ for his salvation, we can rest assured that we will see him again and ALL those who have gone before us into the valley of the shadow of Death (remember it is only the shadow of death because Christ has taken the sting out of death by giving us eternal life when we placed our faith in Him to do so.) This means when our beloved appeared before God in heaven they were warmly embraced by God as He welcomed them into eternity. There is no doubt about that.
– We ourselves have hope of a better day. I want you to personally have that hope of eternal life because it is available to all who want it.
– If you don’t understand what I am talking about but want to know more about what the Bible teaches about eternal life in Christ, I hope you will correspond with me so we can discuss this in more detail.

One of my favorite Bible passages is PSALM 15

1 Who may worship in your sanctuary, LORD? Who may enter your presence on your holy hill?
2 Those who lead blameless lives and do what is right, speaking the truth from sincere hearts.
3 Those who refuse to gossip or harm their neighbors or speak evil of their friends.
4 Those who despise flagrant sinners, and honor the faithful followers of the LORD, and keep their promises even when it hurts.
5 Those who lend money without charging interest, and who cannot be bribed to lie about the innocent. Such people will stand firm forever.

However the problem with this passage is that it is in the Old Testament and emphasizes the Law and the Commandment and does not take into consideration the New Covenant we have in Christ whereby Jesus has fulfilled the law and now serves as our lawyer and commander.

It is not by works of righteousness which we have done but because of His mercy (Jesus) we are saved … by Grace as a gift of God … Titus 3:5-7/Ephesians 2:8-9

Some New Testament Scripture verses that clearly teach assurance of salvation for the believer:

We are saved by the grace of God, not by works (Ephesians 2:8-9) and nothing can separate a Christian from the love of God (Romans 8:37-39).

“Most assuredly, I say to you, he who hears My word and believes in Him who sent Me has everlasting life, and shall not come into judgment, but has passed from death into life.” — John 5:24

“My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me. And I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; neither shall anyone snatch them out of My hand. My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of My Father’s hand.”—John 10:27-29

“And this is the testimony: that God has given us eternal life, and this life is in His Son. He who has the Son has life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have life. These things I have written to you who believe in the name of the Son of God, that you may know that you have eternal life, and that you may continue to believe in the name of the Son of God.”—1 John 5:11-13

I am guessing you may be asking yourself questions like: Why did this happen? Could I have prevented it? What would I have said or done if I had known it was coming? Where does this leave me? How can I go on? Some of these questions are unanswerable and others are not …

We could not have known that our friend would have been gone from our lives so soon
Maybe you have something you wish you could have said to him before he left us or perhaps you wish there was something you could do or undo that you feel sorry about …

We best honor our beloved’s memory if we learn from these missed opportunities and apply them to our life today so we do not have these kinds of regrets again with another person we love.

Something to think about …

At Day’s End
Is anybody happier
because you passed his way?
Does anyone remember
that you spoke to him today?

The day is almost over,
and its toiling time is through,
Is there anyone to utter now
a kindly word of you?

Can you say tonight in parting,
with the day that’s slipping fast,
that you helped a single brother
of the many that you passed?

Is a single heart rejoicing
over what you did or said?
Does the one whose hopes are fading
now with courage look ahead?

Did you waste the day or lose it?
Was it well or sorely spent?
Did you leave a trail of kindness,
or a scar of discontent?

As you close your eyes in slumber,
do you think that God will say,
“You have earned one more tomorrow
by the work you did today?”
~ John Hall

A. Part of getting closure on our loss is to commit to learning from it and living our future life with fewer regrets and performing more positive acts of love.

– Learn to verbally express your care for others often and out loud in words
– Perform kind and sensitive acts of love for those around you
– Help to point others to that kind of life too
– Prepare yourself to be with loved ones again in eternity
* Our loved one had placed his trust in Christ
* You can see him again if you are willing to give your life to Christ

“If in this life only we have hope, we are of all creatures most miserable.” – I Cor. 15:9

B. That takes me to our future and how we live our life today and tomorrow.
– Life goes on … how will you live it? For yourself or for God and others?
– A life devoted to personal pleasure and self-gratification is an empty life. Maybe you don’t buy into the ideas of a Creator who rules over the universe or organized religion (I’m talking about a personal relationship, not religion) – but that’s your call and you will live with the consequences of your decision right or wrong.  In any case, I hope you see the benefit of doing good to others and putting them ahead of yourself.
– We can transform our disappointment and negative emotions into something positive if we will allow them to mold us and motivate us to be better persons today and in the future.

A FINAL QUESTION – Scripture and experience tell us that … “it is appointed unto man once to die … and after that the judgment.” – Hebrews 9:27
When Death comes into our life again (and it will come again) how will you respond?

IN SUMMARY

1. We thank God for our departed loved one
2. If we need help we will ask for it
3. We will care for one another
4. We will use this experience to make us better people
5. With God’s help we can prepare for the future and rest in the knowledge that He cares for us!

“Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for your power, grace and mercy. Please confirm these truths in our heart by your Word and apply them to our life … We pray this in the strong name of Jesus. Amen!”

Guilty

There were over 977 specific charges filed and he pled “guilty” to all. The verdict was inevitable!

Today in public court a verdict was handed down. A man who committed horrendous crimes against three young women in Ohio was finally brought to justice. He was not sentenced to death, but to life plus 1000 years without any possibility of parole. He told the judge that he was guilty of all charges but not a monster. He believed he was just “sick” and could not help himself. Yet he had other relationships that appeared normal and no one even suspected his deviant behavior all this time. He had even been entrusted as a school bus driver and went to church regularly. What’s wrong with this picture?

As the TV pundits discussed the case in its aftermath, I found it interesting that the same folks who usually want leniency were calling for the death penalty. The discussion then shifted to all the money the State was saving by not seeking death even though it would have to support the man for the rest of his life in prison. There was some talk about whether or not this perpetrator was mentally competent to stand trial at all … and the discussion went on and on. What is justice and how do we get it?

The search for justice is an elusive quest and when we get it, no one seems satisfied with the final outcome. On his own, man is not capable of achieving justice; we must seek a wiser and higher power if we ever hope to have it. God warns that true justice is coming for each of us some day and it will be unavoidable… or is it?

God also tells us that we have a chance for mercy now before the verdict is final. Do you want justice or mercy? Justice is unbending. We all need mercy, not justice, because we are guilty and the punishment is too great for any of us to bear. 1000 years in jail is nothing compared to eternity in Hell. All our “good” work like going to church or driving a school bus will not make any difference in God’s court if we have rejected Christ. But if we have put our trust in Christ’s promise to cover our sin with his perfection, we will find mercy. The Bible says, “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” (Romans 6:23) But “whoever calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” (Romans 10:13). We are all guilty but we can be safe if we will throw ourselves on the mercy of God. Act now, before the gavel falls and the final verdict is given. Justice or mercy; the choice is yours!

Expectations

This picture came to my inbox today and got me thinking about “Expectations.” I once saw an interview of Warren Buffet and his longtime partner (who no one has ever heard of) Charlie Munger. The question was asked of them how they got along so well for so many years? They glanced at each other and without hesitation Charlie said,” We have very low expectations of one another.” Wow! There is an insight that everyone needs to understand!

As we approach Christmas, what does this truth mean to us? First it means that God has low expectations of you and me. When God became a man (Jesus Christ), he was willing to sacrifice everything and humble himself in the hope that we would respond to his free gift of love but he had no assurance we would. He had high hopes but low expectations of our desire to reconnect with him as our savior and creator. He gives with no expectation of a return on his investment. He even offers to pay the price of our admission to heaven for free. All we need to do is believe in him.

Secondly, we need to lower our expectations of God. Not because he cannot deliver but because when he does deliver it is always out of love and not because we demand it. We also need to understand that as God, he knows best and therefore does not give us everything we expect or even want because it would undoubtedly ruin our lives. We give ourselves to God with no expectation of what he will do with our life. We simply know that he has our best at heart.

Thirdly, we will get along better with others if we lower our expectations of them. Not only are you imperfect but so is everyone else. Let’s stop judging others by our own standards. That does not mean we expect nothing but let’s realize that there is a lot more going on than we realize and we need to be as generous as possible in expressing our judgment of others. We can afford to lower our expectations of others and it will reap large dividends.

When God became a man over 2000 years ago and lived among us, he gave up all his Kingly prerogatives to show us how much he loved us. In this Christmas Season are you willing to follow his example? This is the secret to a long-lasting relationship with God and others.

“For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.” Luke 2:11-12 King James Version (KJV)